Sugar and Spice

So I'm pretty sure I keep saying this. but I really need to learn to be nicer. I'm not really much into New Year's resolutions, but I figure if the bestie has one about being more humble, I can at least attempt this. Oh, plus I've kinda been feeling like a huge fake. I went home about a week ago to visit Dad and the gparents, and my dad and I were heading to bed one night....go figure, right? Anyway, he's not one to skimp on the "I love yous"...he's a big believer in those...but he's not huge on other emotional stuff. So it really took my by surprise when he said, "I don't say this enough, but I'm proud of you. You're a good person." I don't want to disappoint him! So I've determined that I really need to be a good person. I guess that will mean longer prayers...like A LOT longer...so I can pray to love the people for whom I don't naturally have love for. Isn't it kinda weird how some peeps you can meet and find you would serve them if they needed anything...but others you struggle to even like, to even be in the same room with and resist rolling your eyes?? 

We wish because we need help...and we're scared. I heard that on a show, and I liked it. I'm not really a huge wisher...I mean, don't get me wrong, I am faithful to the 11:11. But it's more a tradition than I actually think it's gonna happen. Maybe because how I do it is a little sacrilegious. I always make the same wish, and now that I think about it, it is something I'm scared of...and probably need lots of help with!!! haha 

Lately I've been feeling like my little bro...I mean, I'm not confused about myself like that, but I'm going through a thing he went through. Not that I'm going to be calling anyone at midnight to ask if I'm a good friend, but I have been thinking about it. I guess it goes back to the whole good person/wishing thing. To the peeps I want to be, I like to think I'm a decent friend, at the very least. But I probably don't care enough about everyone like I should. And I wish I was better, and more friendly; I guess I'm scared to put myself out there. I don't really deal well with rejection, so I tend to avoid it at all costs. Which probably means I miss out on some really great things...

Too much time

So I've kinda been on a whirlwind of travels lately. I've seen enough airports and highways to last me for quite some time. I was gonna blog about my awesome trip, but decided it would be much too long! Anyway, the past couple days I've finally been able to slow down and not have anywhere to be, or anything to do. It was really nice at first. I was just enjoying watching a little Gilmore Girls (thanks to Gma for the series!), finally unpacking my room a bit, doing silly little errands like renewing my driver's license (the new pic sucks, but I just have problems asking them to retake it...), buying things for the new bed. It's technically not new, but for me it is. And I now have some of the most awesome sheets EVER! haha Bright and polka-dotted. But all this time has also made me realize I'm missing something in a big way...my bestie. Today was the first time I cried since she left. Probably because my roomies haven't been home so I've been more along than usual. Not that my amazing VT girls haven't been helpful. Last night was super awesome with the dinner and rave planning, reuniting with random people I went to high school with (actually, not people, just a person), and watching movies with hocho and popcorn. But it's not the same. It will get easier, I know that. I guess I just need some more time. Oh, the irony!