Molly Mormon. With an edge...

Here I am waiting to study for another test. Not really. After I write this I'll be hitting the hay...then waking up semi-early to study for my test. I'm really starting to like this blog thing. It makes me think a lot more about my life, and realize the things I need to change, or the things that I like just perfectly...or maybe not so perfectly. I feel as if I've been on a constant "go" the past couple weeks. I think it's good, but sometimes I wonder. I decided this year to be more active in the organizations at school, and in the fraternity I joined last year (that's right...I'm a Brother!)...and add that to my pretty active church life (I like to think)=kinda busy! BUT I still make time for fun. Last weekend I went down to LC for my Little Man's birthday (he's five...just ask and he will definitely let you know!). It was a blast. He is so fun, and for some reason he likes me. I like to think it's cause I'm the fun aunt...we even have a cool little hug that he loves and is just ours. And being the cool Auntie Pam gives me special rights that include picking on him and teaching him things that are not quite inappropriate but that my sister would never teach him. I also got the awesome privilege of going to my little bro's Patriarchal blessing (on the way I taught him it's definitely NOT patriatical blessing).  Well, despite all the fun I was freaking out a little cause I had this HUGE test Monday morning...and I definitely wasn't studying for it! haha But no worries, I still managed to avoid it on Sunday. Monday starts at 12:01 AM, right? Somehow I did really well on the exam, after driving back Monday morning trying not to fall asleep and kill myself!

This week I had a dilemma that I would never wish on anyone...what to do about a call that for me was only a pity date. I talked to lots of people about it and though I'm still pretty sure I'm not a fan of them, I did it. Maybe it was a mistake, but I  have issues with hurting people's feelings! I'm still not sure how the follow-up and gentle let down is gonna go. Eeeeeee!!!!! But I did get to see my best friend from LC...we had a lunch date...where I was the third wheel. Wow, two dates in one day! Oh, and a recurring theme of Pam being the third wheel! haha 

Earlier this week my bestie and I were kinda spilling our guts to each other, after a super van time. Part of my spillage was my somewhat irrational yet growing fear of relationships. I have really good examples, you see. Both parents divorced a couple times, a sister working on one, and grandparents who remain married simply for the convenience factor. That's when bestie told me I was stronger than all of them...in the gospel. And that I would have different circumstances and wouldn't settle. IDK was my reply. To which she said, it's true. You're totally Molly Mormon. With an edge. It sounds a little silly, but I really needed to hear that. Hopefully when she leaves me for the east she will find another me (who totally won't be as cool)...but whoever you are, just remember she told me she's no longer taking applications for a best friend! 

Sometimes I feel a little depressed, but when I really think about it, my life is good. Perhaps not great, but definitely a step above OK. I have direction in my life, am surrounded by peeps who love me, and I sometimes even know who I am. That's probably the best part, figuring that out. Let's just remember I didn't say easiest...

Maybe it wasn't as easy as I thought!

Can I just say that I suppose everyone is telling the truth when they say we get blessed for doing the things we're supposed to do? Well, since this is my blog, I guess I can say whatever I want and don't really need to ask permission. I could just suppose that it was all a coincidence...not studying on Sunday, rockin' the first test of the year...but I'm gonna attribute it to other causes. Well, I guess I should rephrase that and say rockin' the first test (hopefully! It seemed really easy so maybe I'm just that good?). 

Today was  such a bomb day! Started it off with a little studying, whizzed through the test (in 15 minutes...yikes!), actually was alert and attentive in class, yet still managed to finish the crossword. That's right, I like a daily dose of the Daily Lobo crossword, and feel especially smart when I actually finish it, which I'm not gonna lie, is a rare thing. I got enough homework done when I got home this afternoon, but not enough to make me grumpy. And then I went out with a bang and went with my little Branch to the NM State Fair! Heck yes! And thank goodness I have awesome friends who firmly believe in visiting the livestock barns...or at least just going along with the idea. I firmly believe the fair is all about funnel cakes and livestock, and throwing a snow cone in there definitely can't hurt! All the other stuff is purely optional. Van time with the girls was just as entertaining as ever. I promise someday I will have something to contribute...yeah, someday. 

I just realized something! And it's HUGE. I pretty much hate the wind. And it was super windy tonight...which usually makes me Oscar the Grouch. But tonight, my heart was so full of heartiness I didn't even care! I love it! September is gonna be great, I know it! Football games, parties (my Little Man is turning 5, so don't worry, we'll try not to get too crazy), concerts, State Fairs, and dances, just to name a few. Try not to be too jealous ;)

Procrastination...what I do best :)

I've been contemplating the whole blog thing for a while. And seeing how I still have an hour until Sunday is over, it seemed like the perfect time to start. A journal of sorts, combined with my computer-which, I'm not gonna lie, I am pretty sure I'm addicted to-seemed pretty perfect...especially seeing how the last time I actually wrote in my journal was probably roughly a year ago. The whole Sunday thing might have seemed like an irrelevant comment, but it's not. When I started college I challenged myself not to do homework on Sunday...I saw it as another thing I could do to keep it holy. And last semester I totally failed. I figured I'd give it another shot this year. This might not have been the best time to start if you take into account I have a test tomorrow that, surprise surprise, I haven't started studying for; but there's no time like the present, right?! (Do you see any irony here?) 

These past couple months have really been something else. I am pretty sure every Fast Sunday, as I'm contemplating my testimony, still unsure how to get up and actually share it, I think the past month has been the hardest one ever. Following the current trend, I hate to think what my life has in store for me over the next couple years! 

Today my thoughts were a little self-centered, but at the same time not. Earlier this week my bestie told me some news...she was way stoked while I was on my way to depression. It was pretty much a chance of a lifetime for her, something she thought would never happen again. I know why I was so sad, but I wanted to figure out how I could do a personal transformation. How could I go from PRETENDING to be happy for her, to being happy with her?? It must have been personal revelation of sorts that led me to another friend's blog...she was reflecting on charity. I guess I hadn't learned the lesson I was supposed to when I had to speak about charity last Sunday... Reading said blog helped me realize that I needed to pray for some charity, and I might then be able to share in my friend's joy, rather than grovel in self-pity. 

This month is off to a rockin' start! Hopefully this next Fast Sunday my thoughts won't be filled with how rough a month it was...