Molly Mormon. With an edge...

Here I am waiting to study for another test. Not really. After I write this I'll be hitting the hay...then waking up semi-early to study for my test. I'm really starting to like this blog thing. It makes me think a lot more about my life, and realize the things I need to change, or the things that I like just perfectly...or maybe not so perfectly. I feel as if I've been on a constant "go" the past couple weeks. I think it's good, but sometimes I wonder. I decided this year to be more active in the organizations at school, and in the fraternity I joined last year (that's right...I'm a Brother!)...and add that to my pretty active church life (I like to think)=kinda busy! BUT I still make time for fun. Last weekend I went down to LC for my Little Man's birthday (he's five...just ask and he will definitely let you know!). It was a blast. He is so fun, and for some reason he likes me. I like to think it's cause I'm the fun aunt...we even have a cool little hug that he loves and is just ours. And being the cool Auntie Pam gives me special rights that include picking on him and teaching him things that are not quite inappropriate but that my sister would never teach him. I also got the awesome privilege of going to my little bro's Patriarchal blessing (on the way I taught him it's definitely NOT patriatical blessing).  Well, despite all the fun I was freaking out a little cause I had this HUGE test Monday morning...and I definitely wasn't studying for it! haha But no worries, I still managed to avoid it on Sunday. Monday starts at 12:01 AM, right? Somehow I did really well on the exam, after driving back Monday morning trying not to fall asleep and kill myself!

This week I had a dilemma that I would never wish on anyone...what to do about a call that for me was only a pity date. I talked to lots of people about it and though I'm still pretty sure I'm not a fan of them, I did it. Maybe it was a mistake, but I  have issues with hurting people's feelings! I'm still not sure how the follow-up and gentle let down is gonna go. Eeeeeee!!!!! But I did get to see my best friend from LC...we had a lunch date...where I was the third wheel. Wow, two dates in one day! Oh, and a recurring theme of Pam being the third wheel! haha 

Earlier this week my bestie and I were kinda spilling our guts to each other, after a super van time. Part of my spillage was my somewhat irrational yet growing fear of relationships. I have really good examples, you see. Both parents divorced a couple times, a sister working on one, and grandparents who remain married simply for the convenience factor. That's when bestie told me I was stronger than all of them...in the gospel. And that I would have different circumstances and wouldn't settle. IDK was my reply. To which she said, it's true. You're totally Molly Mormon. With an edge. It sounds a little silly, but I really needed to hear that. Hopefully when she leaves me for the east she will find another me (who totally won't be as cool)...but whoever you are, just remember she told me she's no longer taking applications for a best friend! 

Sometimes I feel a little depressed, but when I really think about it, my life is good. Perhaps not great, but definitely a step above OK. I have direction in my life, am surrounded by peeps who love me, and I sometimes even know who I am. That's probably the best part, figuring that out. Let's just remember I didn't say easiest...